Happy Hump Day, folks.
As my guest blogger for today had to pull out, I thought I would talk to you about something that's been niggling at me for some time—the perception of Erotic writers. I apologize in advance as this post may well turn a bit ranty, but you see, we, that is hubby and I have been at the receiving end of some astonishing developments over the last couple of weeks.
I'm not going to call names or point fingers, but the upshot of it all is, that we, as a family, are leaving a church we called home for the last fifteen years. Again, there are many reasons influencing our decisions, but things came to a head last week.
Why? I tell you why, my writing.
Now, as far as I am concerned my faith has nothing at all whatsoever to do with my writing. I use the gifts God gave me. I have been asked why I don't write Christian books? I tell you why, because that's not the way my muse works. I've tried to turn the heat down, but you know what, the simple truth of the matter is that my characters like sex. Shocking, I know. Here's another shocking revelation. I like sex! I like writing it, I certainly enjoy that side of my relationship with hubby, and I don't know about you, but a mind blowing orgasm certainly has the power to turn a shitty day into a good one.
Of course sex is not the be all and end all of any relationship, or in my writing for that matter. Whilst you will find scorching hot sex in my stories, there is always romance, emotion, and a happy ever after.
So why then is my writing so 'shameful' that I have been asked to brush it under the carpet like some dirty little secret?
Love is love, be that between two or more people, or between same sex couples. I don't judge, and I'm pretty sure the God I believe in doesn't judge either.
No, judging seems to be entirely a human trait. It is perhaps ironic that the very community who tends to be judged the most, the BDSM community, has in my experience been the least judgemental.
You see, this is another thing. I write BDSM amongst other things. Not only do I write it, I'm a collared submissive to my hubby.
Now, I'm sure the good folks who think my writing is so shameful have now gone into apoplexy, but you know what, that is THEIR problem. Hubby and I decided long ago we would never make apologies for who or what we are. We have never conformed, nor do we wish to, and we're both the type of people that push boundaries, just because we can.
Tell us we can't do something, and we'll prove you wrong! And newsflash—we were given our brains for a reason—to use them.
I have Sir's permission to share all this. Most of our friends know this anyway. The ones that didn't, well, surprise!
So, that's the reality. I'm sure what people think is at the other end of the spectrum.
Which brings me to my next point. What do these righteous folks think us Erotic writers do? I'm sure they're expecting me to have orgies every night or something. Well, the reality couldn't be further from the truth.
First and foremost I am a wife and mother. We have nine children, the youngest being only 20 months old, and as any parent knows, having little ones underfoot kind of curtails those activities somewhat. Add BDSM into the mix, and chances for Sir and I to play are few and far between. I'm not complaining. It is what it is, and as the kids grow up, we will have plenty of time for all that.
So whilst I do dip into my personal experiences when I'm writing, most of it is this wonderful thing called Imagination. I tell stories—that's what I do. It's called fiction for a reason. Besides to my knowledge I have never had sex with a vampire or a shifter, though hubby does have a delicious growl when he's in Dom mode.
So, if you're still with me after all that rambling. I'm an Erotic writer, and I love writing. I fully accept that my stories are not for everyone. That's fine. It's called freedom of choice. I don't force you to read them, or those of my fellow authors. So why then do I know so many of my fellow authors, who suffer for their art? I know authors who have lost their job, others have to keep their writing completely hidden from everyone, even members of their own family, and a male author was attacked for writing Erotic romance?
Why? Why are people so threatened by those of us writing sex? We are all the product of it after all. The human race would be extinct, if we didn't enjoy sex.
It's a mystery to me, it really is.
I leave you with one final comment from my hubby and Sir.
"We're on this earth for a short space of time, so be true to yourself—always—and be you. Don't let other people bring you down, or make you conform. Never be ashamed of who you are."